jesus was a primate

a small insight into my life: wife-mom-football-fitness-politics-religion~upcycle

Dear Dad, Please Kick Cancer’s Ass

Dear Dad,

Please kick cancer’s ass!

I know that you aren’t really the ass kicking kind of guy, but as you always taught me, sometimes you need to step out of your comfort zone and do something out of character. You need to say, “listen here cancer, you fuckwad, you are not wanted in my life and body, pack your shit and get the fuck out!”

To be completely honest, when you called and said that the doctors had confirmed our fears, and you were diagnosed with lung cancer, I wasn’t surprised or shocked…not in the least bit. I mean, come on, you smoked for 45 (ish) years & heavily. As a child I remember you always had a cigarette hanging out of your mouth. You would wake up multiple times in the middle of the night to go out and smoke. A memory from high school that I will never forget is……. I walked into class, late. The teacher had me go to her desk to sign in. She said to me, “aren’t you on the swim team?”  I replied, Yes.  Her response was, “you should consider not smoking as I’m sure that isn’t good for any athlete”   I was mortified.  Me?? A smoker??  Never!   But my clothes and hair reeked of cigarette smoke from you and mom. I didn’t try to explain, I’m sure she wouldn’t have believed me anyways,  After that day, I would wash my clothes and  put them in my car so they wouldn’t stink.

When you decided to quit smoking, I was so proud of you.  I knew it would be difficult; smoking was a part of who you were.  You had been a smoker your entire life.  It was second nature to you, like breathing or eating or using the restroom.  But you were strong and brave, You decided to quit and you just did it. simple as that.

Fast Forward 5 years  and you have lung cancer.

You have been an amazing father. Sure you drank too much and poisoned me with second hand smoke, but you were always there for me. You believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. You are a constant observer, only speaking when something absolutely needs to be said. (I clearly did not get the gift of gab from you). You encouraged me to work hard and set high goals and standards, but you never let me forget the importance of a good prank/scare or a hardy laugh.

You have fulfilled your duties as a father; I’m grown and no longer need your daily advice and guidance.  But you are only 10 years into your journey as a grandfather.  Without you, your grandson will be indoctrinated into my views and only my views. He will become a left leaning democrat and won’t even know that FoxNews exists, he will give up eating meat, he will shoot images of the Green Bay Packers logo with his BB gun, he will forget how to play chess and won’t be allowed ice cream for dinner.

Dad, I know each day is a battle, but you must continue to fight.  You are fighting for the right to play in a craps tournament with me in Vegas. You are fighting for the right to text me next football season, “how about them Cards…” when they lose horribly. You are fighting for the right to call me and quote some nonsensical bullshit from FoxNews. You are fighting for the right to give Logan McDonalds and candy bars when he spends the day with you. You are fighting for the right to watch Logan have his first girlfriend, make a key tackle in a football game, grow taller than you, graduate high school and go onto college.  You are fighting for the right to make new memories, imprint your legacy on your grand kids, and continue to be my dad.

I know having cancer sucks. Spending countless hours at the VA for scans, blood draws, and chemotherapy isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time. Don’t give in now, don’t turn down more treatment.  You made it through 3 rounds of chemo with only one hospital stay, you can easily make it through 3 more rounds.       Set your pride aside; ask for help, use your walker when you are feeling weak, sleep when you are tired and please try harder to eat more.

You didn’t have much hair to begin with, but the offer still stands to take you for a toupee & NO, I will not clip your toe nails for you.

I love you Dad!


P.S. Mom said you are extra cranky….if you know what’s good for you, you’d knock that off.



2 comments on “Dear Dad, Please Kick Cancer’s Ass

  1. libraryalchemy
    January 11, 2014

    Fight, dad, fight!! Your dad sounds a lot like mine, and you expressed your love and concern so beautifully here. Keeping you both in my thoughts. With love, from a daughter of a 14-year lymphoma survivor.

    • jesuswasaprimate
      January 11, 2014

      Thanks for your kind words!
      I always feel at a loss for words when thinking/talking about my dad. He’s amazing & I’d love to keep him around a while longer.

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This entry was posted on January 8, 2014 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , .
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