jesus was a primate

a small insight into my life: wife-mom-football-fitness-politics-religion~upcycle

Moments of “religious” impact

I have been reading many blogs on religion lately; people telling their stories of how they found “Jesus,” became Buddhist, or their journey as an Atheist.

I’ve never thought of my exact journey, only certain moments/events that brought me to where I am today.

Here is my story…

I didn’t grow up in an uber religious family.  As a young child, we would attend church on Sundays and religious holidays. The family would get all dressed up; mom in high heels, dad wearing a tie, and us kids wearing ill-fitting dress clothes. As we piled into the Chevy Caprice Classic and headed to the Methodist church, I would try to convince my parents to stop at IHOP or Denny’s for breakfast instead of going to church, it never worked.  I would go to Sunday school classes and my parents would attend the service.  On a few occasions, we were too late for Sunday school and I had to attend the service; this is where I started asking my parents for forks to jab into my eyes or to be sent abroad for Chinese water torture, because surely that would be less unpleasant than listening to a middle aged man speak at me about how I would be saved by Jesus Christ.

When my parents would tuck me into bed at night I would recite a prayer.

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the lord my soul to keep

and if I die before I wake

I pray the lord my soul to take

God Bless: Mommy, daddy, sister, brother, etc

I am pretty sure I had no idea the meaning of this awful prayer…… Now, as a parent, I would be freaked out if my son said “if I die before I wake”  that’s just morbid & strange.

Once or twice a month we would eat dinner as a family and always said the prayer

Come Lord Jesus

Be our guest

Let these gifts to us be blessed

I never understood then & still do not understand now, saying a prayer before a meal…..anyone want to explain this one to me?

I don’t have many memories of actually going to church. When I was 9 years old, we had a Sunday school lesson on “Who is the Holy Spirit?”  I was beyond confused and decided to read the entire bible, cover-cover.  Even as a young child, I was always very logical and rational and the bible seemed like a collection of fairy tales; this is probably when I started to question the validity of “Jesus.”

Around age 11 we moved across town and stopped going to church, at this point I was convinced “Jesus” was in fact real, because the only thing I had ever prayed for was that we wouldn’t have to go to church anymore and that came true.

When I was a freshman in high school a friend invited me to a teen night at her church. She went every week and  told me it was fun, plus her super cute twin brother was going, so I decided to go along.    This ONE night held the biggest moment in my life as far as “faith” was concerned.  This was a huge Baptist church, the teen night would easily have over 300 kids in attendance.  They would separate the teens into a few rooms and the youth minister would speak over a loud speaker with his message being aired over tv screens in the rooms he wasn’t in. The message this particular night had something to do with television shows/movies/music and making sure that what you watched/listened too always had a clean godly message.  I was listening to the minister with one ear and to the conversations around me with the other.   Sitting quietly in this room filled with 70 or so teens, observing, listening and I’m sure spacing out a little bit, I heard the minister say (something to the effects of), “Anyone who watches the television show, Beverly Hill, 90210 will be going to hell.”   I immediately craned my head around, looked him dead in the face and truly listened to the next few minuted of his diatribe. At the time, this was my favorite tv show. My brain was working a million miles a minute. I hadn’t been to church in a few years, but not that much could have changed. I was under the impression an eternal damnation was only sentenced upon the evil non believers.   I remember feeling like someone was trying to brainwash me. I didn’t say anything to my friend, I just stood up and left the room.  Standing alone in  the hallway, my skin was hot, I was sweating, my heart was racing.  I felt trapped. I wanted to go home.

The next six years were spent reading books on religion, talking to people about their relationships with “Jesus Christ,” asking question after question after question about religion and faith and heaven and hell and what it means to be a Christian.  I re-read the bible, cover-cover.

and when I was 20 years old I could confidently say, with 100% certainty…… Hi, my name is Erika, and I am an Atheist.


13 comments on “Moments of “religious” impact

  1. Lester Beaver
    January 29, 2014

    So you’re telling me 90210’s Luke Perry is your savior? Surely you must have a savior!
    No, I’m kidding obviously…very fun read, great ‘coming out’ story, valuable to many.

    • jesuswasaprimate
      January 29, 2014

      I’m thinking Tori Spelling is probably more of my savior. Super skinny, nice fake boobs, cheated on her husband with her current husband…… Isn’t that what all Atheist are about anyways?

  2. inspiredbythedivine1
    January 29, 2014

    Took me until I was in my 40’s to realize I was indeed an atheist. Took me some time to come to the understanding that the word “atheist” does not mean demon possessed, god-hating psychopath anti-Christian monster. It simply means a disbelief in deities. Thanks for sharing your story.

  3. jesuswasaprimate
    January 29, 2014

    At times, I am not comfortable telling people I am Atheist. Not because I am embarrassed or ashamed or not comfortable in my belief systems, but because people associate “Atheist” with devil worship. Sometimes it is just easier to avoid people than educate them.

    • fojap
      January 31, 2014

      Once, when I was visiting my biological family in the south, an aunt asked what religion I was. I said atheist and she looked like a fish with her eyes bulging out and her mouth moving but making no words. Later, my biological mother said, “Did you have to say you’re an atheist? Couldn’t you just say that you don’t believe in God.”

      I said, “But they’re the same thing.”

      And my biological mother said, “Yeah, but *she* doesn’t know that.”

      Maybe it’s a regional thing. I haven’t really encountered adults in New York City who confuse atheism and Satanism. Then, again, I’ve known Satanists.

      I explored Satanism for a while, but it just didn’t take.

      • jesuswasaprimate
        January 31, 2014

        I live in Phoenix, obviously a huge city. I encounter people who think Atheist=Devil-worship, but it seems to usually be right wing religious wackos who have no clue.

        thanks for reading and sharing your experiences.

  4. fojap
    January 31, 2014

    Your experience with the teen group reminds me of when a high school friend tried to rope me into EST training. If you haven’t heard of it (and you’re young so you probably haven’t):

    • jesuswasaprimate
      January 31, 2014

      You are correct, I had never heard of EST trainging.
      First off I NEED to thank you for the link, rationalwiki is HILARIOUS! and I trully loved the definition it gave.

      It completly BLOWS my mind at how easily people can be brainwashed. They enter into situations and leave all common sense at the door.

      thanks again for the link……I’m sure I’ll be blogging about it someday soon.

  5. johncoyote
    February 8, 2014

    I understand your thoughts. I study all the major religions for many years. I fell back to my Native American belief. Live in peace with the land and try to be kind to your neighbors. Life should be simple. Religion should be a personal matter. Thank you for your thoughts on a good topic.

    • jesuswasaprimate
      February 8, 2014

      I totally agree.
      I try to follow the simple rule of, “Do onto others as you wish them to do onto you.” I don’t need the “fear” of a god to make me a good person.

      Thanks for reading.

  6. LAMarcom
    February 27, 2014

    I can truthfully say that I have never believed in a god. (I do love all mythology and studied that from the third grade on.) Have also read most of the bible and am amazed at people who quote scripture to try to win a debate. People ask me occasionally when and how I came to be an atheist. My standard response:
    “When I learned to read.”

    Very happy to have found your site. Will be spending time here certainly.
    Thank you.

    P.S. Creationists who pressure schools to teach their bullshit just piss me off.

    • jesuswasaprimate
      February 27, 2014

      “When I learned to read” <~~~ love it!

      Being in business for myself and dealing with the "general population" & having a child who is school aged dealing with general "parenting" I have realized that most people have absolutely NO common sense.
      This is why it is so easy for churches to amass thousands of followers. People don't think and when they do, it's with no common sense.

      Thanks for stoping by and sharing! It thrills me to meet like minded people

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This entry was posted on January 29, 2014 by in religion and tagged , , .
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